"I could never regret any piece of my past, no matter how dark, because it shaped me into the person I am today."
I was a little girl who was full of life, a goofball, with dreams of being a dancer/writer. And even though I can't remember much of it, I know I was surrounded by love and was able to experience so much thanks to my family.
When I was 13 my bipolar disorder reared its head hard, and my world got very dark, very fast. I lost love for my passions, love for myself, my family, and love for life in general. I abused myself mentally, physically, and tried to end my life more than once. I truly didn't think it would end especially after being diagnosed with mild schizophrenia. Attempts at therapy and various medications never seemed to provide a long term solution for me personally.
I moved to sunny Tampa, Florida hoping for a change, went to college still dealing with frequent episodes of depression, and graduated with my BFA in Photography with no real plan plotted out for what was next.
So why am I sharing all of this with you?
Because like so many others out there - I couldn't see a future, and wasn't looking forward to one. Even when I was out of the worst of it, I lived life moment by moment never feeling called, pulled, or propelled to achieve anything for myself. I was sad and angry, and had become my biggest bully.
After leaving a mentally abusive relationship my life started to shift. One person showed me what it looked like to be genuinely kind to myself and to others. I got a glimpse of respect, compassion, ambition, and the light in a seemingly dark place. In time, and through practice I learned kindness towards others and kindness towards myself. To love myself wholeheartedly.
Now I'm 27 with two beautiful daughters and lucky enough to be able to call that person who helped me start to change my life my husband today. But I want to share that same feeling he shared with me with you and I promise you, I don't need to eventually marry you to do that. I live a life I never thought possible, a life where I'm happy, a life where I'm loved by myself and others, a life where I'm grateful everyday and content no matter what comes my way.
I can lead by example, share with you tools, what I know, what I've learned, and what I'm still learning today. But it starts with you. You need to be open to finding the light, you have to value taking the time to invest in yourself, and I know you can find the courage to love yourself.
I'm sharing with you my story, which led me to who I am today. I'm sharing with you my jewelry, because it's become my therapy just as nature has. I'm sharing with you my lessons learned, not to help you avoid yours, but so you can see the value in harder times. And I'm sharing with you my daily life, my family, my world, so that you can see with your own two eyes that happiness doesn't look perfect - it looks however you need it to.