I never thought I would be experiencing what feels like adult puberty, this awkward sense of coming into my own. But it doesn't have to do with my voice, boobs, or body hair this time around - it actually revolves around being nice.
I was so mean for so long - crude, abrasive, and didn't have much regard for people's feelings. My favorite trait, the one where I can be so open and honest with others, was being used in the worst way.
Flash forward to now, where I've gotten such sweet messages from people complimenting me on how nice I am and how the world needs more people like me - and there's this little part of me that feels like I'm a fraud.
But I know I'm not.
I know that I'm learning to love and appreciate more internally and externally and that's the person I'm becoming, the person I am. It's a weird adjustment but one worth feeling the awkwardness of going through.
I'm such a firm believer that it's never too late to change, you just have to be willing and patient (oh so patient). I wasn't destined to exude these rude aggressive qualities my whole life. I have a choice just like everyone else does. So often we feel like because we've always seen ourselves as one way (mean, an introvert, loud, angry, shy, etc.) that we can't be different from that.
I knew myself as sad or angry for a very good chunk of my life but I'm the furthest from that I have ever been. I was feeling held back by the way I was living my life, and now my stress and anxiety rarely come around - and if they do it's short lived and not a full blast melt down like before. Self love has really been the center of that change for me.
So if you have reservations about having to shift who you are, don't. It might be awkward and new and quite a bit of work right now, but in the long run you are going to feel so much better and people will notice.